An Old Friend Come Back again

Jessicalee's post about her friend dumping her reminded me of my previous friendship gone awry. For the purposes of this post, I will name her Valerie.

We were best friends since the first time I saw her at choir practice at my church. It was my first time and I had begged my mother to let me join. Unbeknowst to me, the youth choir was an elite group and they did not let just anyone join. After a few weeks, I was granted access to this wonderful organization. I didn't know anyone my age in my church because my parents were not that involved back then. The first time I met her, she was telling someone about a show called Goosebumps that used to air on Fridays I believe it was. There was also a book by the same name, if any of you are familiar. I joined in the conversation and suddenly found myself with four new best friends. Whenever anyone asks, Valerie and I have different takes on how we first met, but I'm 98% sure this is the real story.

Valerie and I became best friends very quickly. We had many things in common and talked on the phone for hours about everything in the world. Literally. We even looked alike, dark skinned, slender, and both wore glasses. People were constantly asking us if we were related. For a while there I wondered if we were separated at birth. Except she is three months older than I.

Like I said, we did everything together. I already had a sister but she became my older sister. I told her things that no one else ever knew. Then she met her future husband. Let the record show that I liked him first. We met in baptism class and I thought he was cute. Well actually he told me that he was in culinary school and I think I liked that more. I went on vacation for a few weeks and when I came back, Valerie confessed that she liked him as well. I didn't care, he wasn't tall enough anyway. When they started dating, it was the three of us. They always invited me along so I never felt like the third wheel.

They got married and with marriage seemed to become more religious. Suddenly my single life was under scrutiny all the time. I felt judged for every guy that I liked or for places that I chose to frequent. She had her first baby and we had less and less in common. I returned her phone calls less and less and became more busy at school.

Then we just stopped talking. I don't even know when it happened. I just woke up one day and realized that I hadn't spoken to her in almost a year. This girl was my bestest friend in the whole world. I was the maid of honor at her wedding and she was to be at mine.

We recently reconnected and when we talked on the phone it was like time had never passed us. But...something is still missing. I'm not sure if I want her in my life like she was before. We are supposed to hang out when I go visit my parents on Mothers Day weekend. I'm kind of nervous because I'm not sure what the next step is. I keep thinking about Sally G's post on " Do you notice that you've already gone".

http://sgd25.pnn.com/articles/show/43003-at-what-point-do-you-notice-that-you-ve-already-gone

I don't know how to do those fancy things when you want to link it to someone's page.

Should we try this again or has too much time passed? I'm not the same girl she met in church choir anymore, I'm not sure how much we have in common anymore.