When I Grow Up

I'm  pretty sure I'm twenty five. Yep, my birth certificate says that I am. Somedays I don't feel like it. I feel like a grown ass woman with my fiance and friends. But when I'm around my parents, I feel like a little kid again. All of a sudden I can't make my own decisions and whatnot. They always want to know what I'm doing, where I'm going, etc, etc.

Isn't the whole point of growing up to allow yourself to make your own decisions regardless if they are good or not? We live and learn from our experiences, correct? And just because what I choose to do may be drastically different from what you did, doesn't mean its wrong. It may be right for me or not. But I have to make that distinction.

I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop, I guess. I would like to make a decision regardless of my parents' reaction to it. Is this wrong of me? I'm not that little good girl anymore. I'm a grown up according to society!

I can't make my parents happy all the time because it seems to me that when I'm happy, they're not and vice versa. I envy my fiance's relationship with his parents. He was not always the golden boy he is today. He used to go at it with his mother. He went to college when he was 16 and understandably he wanted to act like the rest of his his college classmates. But they were 18 and older. But today he is a well adjusted adult and he has a very honest relationship with his mother. She doesn't agree with everything that he does, but she lets him make his own choices.

Can I make my own choices? I make my  own choices, they just don't know anything about it. Its like I'm living a double life.  I feel like the teenage girl who has to sneak in and out of her house just to go to her best friend's unsupervised party.

I just needed to vent. I just want to grow up but still have the respect of my parents at every step. Is that asking for too much? Blah.